Forwards

Monday's w/ Michael

I probably should have warned all of you (is it still "all of you" or is it just "both of you" by now) long ago how much I despise forwards. I can be having a perfectly good day at work and then someone sends me a forward and I'm instantly annoyed. The classic "If you aren't ashamed of God, you will forward this to 10 people" really irritates me. Another classic that for some reason people still fall for is the "If you send this to 10 people within the next 3 days, you will receive $$$$." There are a few co-workers (whose names I won't release) who frequently send forwards. There are a few other co-workers (whose names I won't release) that I frequently complain to when I receive one of these such forwards.

I have several reasons for my passionate dislike of forwards. Many of the inspiring "true" stories are actually false according to snopes.com. Others just don't make any sense when you think about it. I received a forward just like this last week.

The email started out by saying "What does it mean to give more than 100%? We've all been in situations where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 101%?" It then went on to say "Here is a mathematical formula that might help answer these questions." Ok, so here is their "formula". First, you assign every letter in the alphabet a numerical value (A=1, B=2, C=3, etc).

K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E

11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K

8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E

1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

L-O-V-E O-F G-O-D

12+15+22+5+15+6+7+15+4 = 101%

The email ended with "Therefore, we can conclude with mathematical certainty that while hardwork and knowledge will get you close, and attitude wil get you there, it's the love of God that will put you over the top."

I have a couple problems with this email. First of all, I have never heard anyone say, "Go out there and give 101%." Typically, it's "Go out there and give it 110%". This is the classic situation where whoever created this email came up with an answer (the love of God = 101) and created a story to fit the answer.

My second problem with this email is that "we can now conclude with mathematical certainty" that drugs & beer are more valuable than hardwork or knowledge.

D-R-U-G-S & B-E-E-R

4+18+21+7+19+2+5+5+18=99

Make it a great week!